Memories, gratitude and privileges

”Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by every moment that takes your breath away.” - George Carlin

As I sit here, alone, I can’t help but thinking about those few moments in my life that really matters. Big gestures are hard to remember, small things are easier. I remember going out on the lake with my family on the snowmobiles, I remember my first special Valentines day and I remember when my dad built me and my brothers our first and only tree-house. My dad spent a lot of time with us – playing, teaching and loving. I am glad to say that as the distance between my parents grew, I and my father only got closer.

It is funny how some relationships work better when two people are miles away, and how others are destroyed by the lack of a close connection. As I moved mom and I became more like friends, best friends actually. And at the same time, I get to be close to the one person that really makes my everyday life easier.

So, back to the origin of this entry… Moments that took my breath away.

- When I got home from a three weeks long trip to Germany, I went into the bedroom and my bed was covered in roses.

- As I went downstairs to take a bath with B, every single light in the apartment was off and there was soft music in the background. I went into the bathroom and there he was, in the bathtub. Candles and a bubble bath, does it get any better? Yes, when you get to take it with the one person that you care about more than anything else.

Moments that counts more right now is the everyday things that you take for granted, even though you shouldn’t. And I don’t, because I know that it can be taken away too easy. Moments like when it’s time for bed, and he puts his arms around you and says “Goodnight baby, sleep tight”. Or when you wake up in the middle of the night from some noise and you realize that you are perfectly safe next to him. One thing that I don’t take for granted anymore is seeing my mom and dad, that is a luxury for me right now. And I like it that way, your parents are the last thing you should take for granted. Sure, they will always be there, supporting you and even carrying you when you don’t have the strength to stand up by yourself. But too many parents are neglected because their children know this, and they don’t realize that their mom and dad might want someone to witness everything they do for their children. They are just like us, they want their children to be happy for them when they are happy, and they might want someone to say “It’s ok, I understand that you feel down and I’m here for you as you’ve always been here for me”. I guess I just want to say – mom, dad. I love you, and I am happy for you guys. I am happy that my dad finally found someone to share his life with and I am glad that my mom is finding peace in being without a full house.

Daddy, I wanted to thank you. Thank you for being here for me, guiding me when everything was hard. You let me decide, even if you might have known better more than one time. And if I made the wrong decision, you never once said “I told you so”. Instead you helped me find my way back to the right path. I wanted to say that I appreciate you, I appreciate everything you’ve put up with when it comes to me. I know it wasn’t even near a dance on roses, but you wouldn’t give up on me and I appreciate that. And finally I wanted to say I like you, I like our nights out, our trips to Dalarna and Västervik, I like the person I am when I am with you. I get to be myself around you.

I better finish this off now, hopefully you get the message. And just remember, don’t take everything for granted. There is a difference between rights and privileges.